Welcome to my "RANDOM" world, which is full of random things, and is all about random things...! Enjoy, and please leave some random thoughts :)

About Me

My photo
San Francisco, CA, United States
Sur mon Ile, j'ai écris une page d histoire, pas d'humanité, ni historique, mais une page de MON histoire. Ne rêvons pas nos vie, vivons nos rêves...

Read Me...Join Me...Meet Me...

~Join Me at My Events~
* Runway of the World, Oct 22, 2010 6:30pm @ Hotel Valencia, San Jose
* Indulgence Lounge Exhibition & Show, Nov 5, 2010 6:00pm @ The Payne Mansion, 1409 Sutter Street, San Francisco
* Green Festival Exhibition, Nov 6-7, 2010 10pm @ San Francisco Convention Center
* Chance Fashion Show, Nov 13, 2010 8pm @ Vela Lounge, Seattle
* Silicon Valley Beauty Contest Chapter I, Apr 2, 2011 6pm @ Temple Lounge, San Jose
* Silicon Valley Beauty Contest Chapter II, May 8, 2011 6pm @ Temple Lounge, San Jose
* Ao Dai Festival, May 15, 2011 5pm @ Dynasty Restaurant
* Silicon Valley Beauty Contest Chapter III, June 4, 2011 6pm @ Temple Lounge, San Jose

Monday, May 23, 2011

Think Patterns, Not People

"Think Patterns, Not People"--When I opened the Table of Contents of <The Social Atom>, this is the first thing I saw, and then I bought the book without any hesitation...This is exactly what I've been thinking, following, and trying to develop for the past 10 years!!!

When I think back, I feel truly thankful to 3 people: my physics teacher in middle school, my maths teacher in high school, and my tutor of Physics Olympic (PhO) competition in high school.  They not only taught me maths and physics, but also taught me the way of logic thinking.  Sometimes I feel regret that I didn't continue my study in physics at that time, but as they said, what I have learned by studying maths and physics is really the way of thinking that can apply to anything I do.  Even if I became a business major when I get into college, I never stopped reading--from natural science, to complex science, to human science...Unlike most of the pure business people, I look at our society, business and people's behavior in a scientific way. 

I'm not a religious person, though sometimes I can be superstitious, I do believe something is controlling this whole world--not limited to the world we are living in and we observe, but the whole universe and anything outside of this universe, if any--that's the underlying order scientists are looking for.  I always thinking everything works the same way, and there's for sure a way to explain everything with scientific theories, the fundamentals.  

While reading <The Social Atom>, when Mark Buchanan was talking about how human individuals make everything so complicated that it is almost impossible to explain human behavior in the scientific way.  But imagine, if we could jump out the universe, to observe the world from some point outside the existing universe, with full information, maybe everything will be much simpler to understand.  However, according to the recent quantum gravity theory, nothing exists outside of the universe, which means we cannot jump out of the universe to observe the whole thing, which means nobody can get complete information, and that is what I think the main reason that caused the uncertainty--incomplete information for everyone, and people all have different assumptions and thinking process based on the information they have, and thus create the complexity of human world.  Though it's not possible to eliminated all the uncertainty to create the risk-free environment all the time, we can always reduce the uncertainty to make the bet has better chance to win--I usually use my "Black Box Theory" to think about the complicated problems, seems it works well so far.  

When I think more about my past, from my childhood to now, I figured one thing--I have changed a lot over all those years, but deeply done, I still do things with the same pattern again and again, that's the real me, the fixed pattern that exists when I was born, which will never change.  I believe everyone has such a pattern that makes their life cycle goes over and over again--different time, different things, different places, different people, everything seems different, but essentially the same pattern.  As I believe, people don't change fundamentally, all changes are incremental.  Though we may not be able to change that pattern, as long as we know about it, there are always ways to make it better use instead of use it against ourselves. 

THINK PATTERNS, NOT PEOPLE!as Mark Buchanan wrote, as I always believed... Just started reading the book actually, I will write more when I finish the book I guess...:)  

Friday, May 13, 2011

Work & Fun - On & Off Stage

This is mostly the shows and events from end of 2010...Different spot, different designer, different style, and different me :)

* Shiny gold dress for fashion show @ Westin St. Francis Hotel, San Francisco, CA, Sept 2011;
Designer: Debbie Nghiem.
I like St. Francis hotel, not because it is a fancy hotel at Union Square, but this is the spot I used to use to practice catwalk when I just started to do fashion shows, when I didn't know how to walk.  Finally got a chance to do a real show here with a crowd! I was so proud!

* Vino Moda wine tasting and fashion awakening event Aug, 2010 @ Fort Mason, San Francisco, CA; 
Designer: Candice Janeen.  
Walk walk, with confidence... 
And videos for Vino Moda events, and my first interview video as a model...:)

* Avant Garde Superchick Fashion Show, Sept 2010 @ Supperclub San Francisco, CA
This look really seems like "avant garde", never had such wild look before...Telling myself, "Yes, I can!"

* TAPpy Hour Sept 2011 @ Zen Lounge, Mountain View, CA; Designer: Monique Zhang
Was just thinking to hang out and enjoy other people's show, but ended up dressed up like them, and walked around the venue as advertisement.  Since I was the only one that still had the designer's cloth on, and per request, I was dancing on the table, I got everybody's attention, felt like a superstar :)

 * "Fool For Love" Movie Premier, Sept 2010 @ Hillview Airport, San Jose, CA
I felt so excited to see so many cool airplanes, can't help to take some shoots with the planes!!
 Getting my hair done, only 3 minutes to get ready, but I really liked my hair that day!
 Interviewing...Feel like a star, before the real star arrives~!
Movie group arrived by plane...Group picture!
 Real stars in front, I became the background statue.  Kept that pose for almost an hour! One day, I will sit in front, and let other people be the statue...^^
Even if I'm not the star (yet), I still got the VIP service with Limo!!! Move to the movie theater from the airport!

 Walking on the red carpet! I AM THE STAR!!! Haha!

 * Friends of HUE Charity Event, Sept 2010 @ San Pedro Theater, San Jose, CA

Behind the scene...Laying on the ground to take pictures, I am the photographer!!~O(∩_∩)O~

 * Noble Wine Launch party, Nov 2010, San Francisco, CA.  
One of my favorite look -- I look so Parisian!!!

* Indulgence Lounge Artist Show -- Intro & Fashion Show by Monique Zhang
That was one of the toughest days--I was not officially in the show, but I participated all the preparation work before the show day, and be a back-stage manager/coordinator + floor model + show model at the same time! Didn't stop running around that night, but it was really fun!!

* Runway of the World, Oct 2010 @ Valencia Hotel, San Jose, CA
Tried some interesting cloths that day...one look like a fairy in the forest, and the other one that shows my boobs.  I guess that's why I caught much attention in that show.  I hesitated a bit when asked to where that, but for experience once, why not?:)
 After the show...See I got all the fans!

Video of the show from Run Way of the World, ENJOY!

The Beauty of Imperfection

"I need to look perfect all the time!" -- I used to think this way.  Whenever I needed to go out, even if just went grocery shopping, I always made sure that I look perfect--maybe not absolutely perfect, but at least it should look perfect to me at that moment.  And I became more so since I got involved in all those fashion events.  We may look shiny on the runway, but we do make funny faces at back stage, thus there are lots of funny pictures taken behind the scene--they are fun to look, but I would never allow them to appear in public websites (as long as I know), and not even show them to close friends.

Most of the world's successful models are pencil thin and for ads in magazines and posters, their faces and bodies are touched up so that they look perfect. Sadly, I'm not one of them, and millions of girls and women measure themselves against these impossible standards and come up short.  

Black Swan makes me think...and I realized that there's no such thing called "perfection", there is only perfection within imperfection. The real beauty will not be affected by a little defects.  Imperfection is beauty, only if we can truly accept the imperfection and appreciate the imperfection, we can then find the true perfection. 

No need to feel shame because we are not perfect.  Be confident--Confidence creates beauty!

Updates & Connections

Once in a while I write blogs...once in a LONG while I guess :)

Glad to see people's messages when I finally logged back on, and even happier to see that they like my random thoughts.

While I was building my portfolio, I trying to link my online profile together in some way.  If you like this blog, welcome to subscribe, and if you want to know me more, you can also find some of my online profiles:

  • Yelp -- Yes, I Yelp!...Actually just started recently ^^.  I love to eat out, discover new restaurants, events and adventures.  Yelp! sounds like a good place find out all of the above.
  • Youtube -- Mostly videos from the fashion shows and events, and some videos of my cute pets (2 turtles--Toto and Lele).  Working on more interview videos and even more...
  • Facebook -- Of course! Who doesn't use it? Add me to see more information, events, pictures, videos...
  • Twitter -- This is brand new for me.  Just thinking, seems all the famous people are using Twitter, so if I use it, maybe one day I will become famous too, haha! -- Such a stupid logic, but please follow me on Twitter @ smileypissenlit

Voilà, a brief update...but I will write more later...soon :)

Monday, November 29, 2010


In the previous articles I have talked about information and intuition--simply saying, everybody gets different information and nobody knows all the information, with limited information sometimes we have to use our intuition to make decisions, but intuition is not pure guesses, it comes from observation, analysis, and experiences.

One day I have talked about "trust" with a friend--Everybody subconsciously has a "initial trust level" when first meet someone--let's scale it from 0 to 100, people that are more suspicious start from a lower number, and people that give more trust start from a higher number, then adjust it while gaining more information overtime.  This initial level depends on people's characters and previous experience, usually range from 20-80, and there is a "resistance factor" which measures how difficult is to change one's "trust score" to other people.

My friend usually starts the score with 0 (which is quite an extreme) when he meets someone, and when he spends more time with that person, and get more information, he will raise up the score. He seems to view the information as it is, resistance factor is pretty low.

I look things differently. I do not have a fixed initial trust score when I meet people, the score varies by my first impression of people--guess I have pretty good intuition about how one person is after my initial conversation with them. Once I set the score, it is really hard to change.  Because the information is incomplete, and the truth may not be what we see and what we hear, so I trust my intuition more (which is right most of the time), unless I can gather enough information to do a solid analysis to prove the point, I would not change my judgment dramatically.  I believe nothing we see really means anything, and nothing is stand-alone, we need to look at things collectively--that's what I meant by "look at people with your heart not your eyes", and "use your intuition not only information".
Many people think good intuition comes from experiences, but it is not completely true.  A lot of people think they have experience so that they know better how to deal with things, but sometimes people get tricked by their experience, because they didn't realize that same cause can lead to different results, and different causes can lead the same result--they use what happened before to predict and to deal with what happens now or what will happen in the future, sometimes it just doesn't work. 

I think overall I have pretty good intuition, it is mainly because I observe things well (due to my psychology education & experience) and I analyze things in a different way (thanks to quantum physics and my scientific friends).  It is not easy to make decisions based mostly on intuitions, it needs a lot of efforts, but just observe carefully, think logically, analyze wisely, then close your eyes, clear your mind and follow your heart.:)

From Past to Future

I don't really like to be asked to introduce myself by brief descriptions, because I do not think simply talking about what I like what I hate or where I've been to can really describe me. I think people are made by stories, not by single dots--I always like to hear people's stories, good or bad, from what I can get a better sense of who they are and how they are and more important, why they are who they are and how they are now.

We always say, it's the past that made who we are now. I really believe so--everything happens with a cause, our past affect our behaviors today, and what we do today will affect our future.  To that logic, many people may think the past of one person decides one's future, which I don't think is true, since our life is going on continuously, and every moment can affect the next moment, and whichever one is closer has more effect than what happened before (assume what happening is at the same level as what happened before). I never judge people from their past, even though I always try to know as many past stories of them as possible, I just try to understand what made them today, but I don't think that's what they will be in the future. I'd look more today and the "trend" to think what they will be in the future. 

It's just like when we analyze stocks.  Most people, even most professional analysts look at a stock by its past performance to predict it's future and make their investment decision today. But we all know that past performance and future performance can be totally different, it should just be a reference--people still rely on it because it's the only information they have, and barely anyone thinks about what is the underlying reason of its performance/trend up to now and what is the story it is really telling us between the numbers--only the outstanding top people do.

I remember in my Investment class in school, the professor kept emphasizing "forward looking", at that time I read the existing numbers, calculate the intrinsic values, and predict in the long term if the value will go up/down, then make decision if I should purchase/sell the stock. Theoretically that works perfectly, but it's not very realistic in operation--it may be true that eventually it will arrive to its intrinsic value, but who knows how long that will take, and the value can change over time with different events as well. And in the real world when we need fast reactions, it doesn't work any more. 

The real forward looking, in general, for me, is to see, or I should say, observe carefully, the current situation (PRESENT), find out the causes (from the PAST), analyze them, and find the underlying order to find the possible future trends, then adjust the valuation of the FUTURE with the ongoing events. 

Sometimes we rely too much on existing information, but remember we don't get all the information? and some information we get can be wrong and/or misleading as well. Sometimes we just have to make reasonable assumptions to make decisions, and we do have to trust our intuition more than the partial information we have--though I have to say, the intuition comes from observations, analysis, practice and experiences, not just a pure guess out of nowhere...so BE AWARE :) 

My Relativity

I remember couple of years ago I used to write something on my blog about when we were little, we knew what is "good" what is "bad", but when we grow up, we get more and more confused about what is "good" and what is "bad". Is that because we get dumb or this world just confused us? 

Today, when I was asked about if I think the world is more of good things or more of bad things, I suddenly thought about that question I asked myself couple of years ago, but now I realized nothing is absolutely good and nothing is absolutely bad, everything is really relative.  We got more confused is just because we are growing up.

Let's say, if all the information in this world is transparent and shared, and everybody gets the exact same information, this world will be really peaceful and beautiful. However, each of us can only see a part of this world from certain angle, and we all get different information, that's what made the chaos and complications of our society.  I believe nobody is born to be evil, and everything happens with a cause, and people do things with their own reasons.  It may hurt other people, and from some people's point of view, it's really bad, but if we think from different angle or put ourselves in other people's shoes, that might not necessarily be a bad thing.  

People have instinct to protect themselves, everybody, and the protection level, like needs, has hierarchy, when one satisfied one level, it takes to another level. For example, a homeless guy wants to keep himself from being hungry, cold, and dying, he would not try to do anything to hurt people unless he feels his life/food/etc are threatened; however when one becomes rich and/or famous, he gets more things he needs to protect (e.g. public image, money, rights, etc), so he would do more things to protect them, some of the things he does may look bad from other people's eyes, but that's what he's got to do, to his point, it's not a "bad" thing really. 

The more I have thought, and the more I have experienced, the more I realized nothing is really bad.  Even something happened to me that make me feel really bad, or even damaged my life, it can still be good in certain way--at least I learned my lesson.

I may still complain about things sometimes, but now I can be calm shortly and can sit back and see what I did wrong instead of pick on other people--I guess after these months of break, I did become more mature now ^^

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Time of Fashion

This economy crisis slowed down lots of things, especially in the banking industry.  Since the working activity is very slow, I decided to do something different, something I like...

One day I jumped in to a fashion show, volunteered to be a model, and started my fashionista life from there. The first month I was running around different fashion shows, worked with different designers, met different models, at the same time I had to practice my runway catwalk and posing everyday, and then photoshoot posing -- not an easy job really, but I did it, in a short time. When I looked back the pictures of that one month, I was very impressed with my progress.

The past 4 months, from a model, to back stage manager, to show producer, as well as being involved in movie premiers and TV shows, I saw a whole new world out of a banker's life, a beautiful and interesting world. We talked about all different things, from fashion to Chinese medicine, from business to quantum physics, from work to the way of life...

I really love fashion.  It is not just the surface, it is about connecting the soul with body, mind, society and culture.  It anticipates, and elegance is really a state of mind, and a way of savoir vivre.

Guess it's time to be back to my real world, but I appreciate this experience, that has built up my confidence from other ways, opened my eyes for a different world, and added color to my life.

 * Indulgence Lounge - Resort Collection by Monique Zhang *
  * Indulgence Lounge - Mur d'Art Collection by Monique Zhang *
 * Chance Fashion Show @ Seattle - Haute Couture Collection by Debbie Nghiem *
* Calendar Photoshoot - Ao Dai Vietnamese Dress Collection by Debbie Nghiem *

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Congratulations to Diling


An old close friend I met through high school Physics Olympiad 10 years ago sent me this article this morning, with him getting Klein Award.  I'm so happy for him!!! He's always been very brilliant and outstanding since then, and really glad that he has followed his dream in studying physics.  Still remembered we talked about everything about science at that time: from physics to biology, from atoms to dinosaurs, from cells to the whole biology circle...very sweet memories~~~

Wish him the best for his dream, and everything in life :)

Therapy Treatment for Hiccup

Met a patient yesterday, who has hiccup for 27 months, from stomach to chest, bleeding, and throw out what he ate and drank regularly... I actually don't really know how the western chiropractors work, from Chinese medicine point view, it looks not too complicated... Here is some thoughts:

In Chinese medicine, it called 呃逆 -- 患者自觉胸膈气逆,喉间呃呃连声,不能自主。可单独发生,症状轻微,多持续数分钟至数小时后自愈;也可以继发于其他急慢性病过程中,症状多较严重,可昼夜不停,或间歇发作,迁延数日至数月不愈。可能因为饮食不当,情志不遂,正气亏虚等使胃失和降,气逆动膈引起。西医学里面的单纯性膈肌痉挛及其他疾病如胃肠神经官能症,胃炎,胃扩张,胃癌,肝硬化晚期,脑血管病,尿毒症及胃食管手术后等引起的膈肌痉挛都可以是为中医学上的“呃逆”

- 胃中寒冷:呃声沉缓有力,胸膈及胃脘不舒,得热则减,遇寒更甚,口淡纳呆,苔薄白,脉迟缓。
- 胃火上逆:呃声洪亮有力,冲逆而出,口臭烦渴,喜冷饮,脘腹胀痛,便秘尿黄,舌红,苔黄燥,脉滑数。
- 肝气犯胃:呃逆连声,常因情志不畅而诱发加重,胸闷胁胀,脘腹痞满,嗳气纳呆,肠鸣矢气,苔薄白,脉弦。
- 脾胃阳虚:呃声低长无力,气不得续,腹中冷痛,泛吐清水,脘腹不舒,喜温喜按,手足不温,食少乏力,便溏,舌质淡,苔薄白,脉细弱。
- 胃阴不足:呃逆短促而不得续,口干舌燥,烦躁不安,不思饮食或食后饱胀,大便干结,舌质红,苔少而干,脉细数

1. 针灸 - 和胃降逆止呃。以任脉,足阳明和手厥阴经穴为主
==> 中脘和足三里按症选补泻法;内关和膈俞穴用平补平泻法。配穴按虚补实泻法,寒症配艾灸。
==> 配穴: 胃寒--梁门;胃热--陷谷;肝气犯胃--期门,太冲;阳虚--气海,关元;阴虚--太溪

2.推拿 - 和胃降气平呃。以任脉及相应背俞穴为主


Tuesday, September 7, 2010


Trying to find something to start with...hmmm, looking at this chocolate bar, reminds me the talk I had with a friend a while ago about kicking a chocolate bar with x-ray in UHV (Ultra High Vacuum)--if it can achieve the ultimate flavor of happiness?

Let's start from the very beginning of this concept, in quantum physics, what is called Photoemission.  Basically, it is all about using light to kick electrons out of a chunk of, let's say, chocolate, as we discussed.  It is hard to visualize using light to kick something, but if you know "photon", or Sir Isaac's "light ball", that's great.  History of science has shown that people seem to be quite serious about this game, because they believe by using a photon to kick those stupid electrons in the chocolate in a pretty gentle manner, then electrons can be pulled out happily and bring with them stories from inside the chocolate bar, which can then be used to make money, e.g., improve the flavor or texture, make it more silky, etc.  They are lucky in a certain way, because electrons are usually quite tolerant.  So even if you kick them really hard, I mean, gently hard, using an X-ray photon (which is quite heavy), they seem to be pretty enjoying being kicked, so they popped up with a whole lot of stories.  But once they are out of the chocolate, obviously they are less happy, and they might fall asleep and drift around, forget the story they once remembered.  To keep them awake, without chocolate and coffee, cheap vacuum won't work.  So, there comes a place to waste some dollars: UHV ...

Sounds like an interesting game? But later on we realized, that is actually a very very bad idea. Why? Chocolate is not vacuum compatible, meaning when you are pumping stuff out of your 100,000.00$ UHV box, the chocolate will degas like crazy--Degas means throw up all kinds of weird things into the vacuum so vacuum is no longer vacuum any more...

So...it's just a fun idea, don't even think about trying it in your UHV box :)

A Prophet or A Fool?

Am I a prophet or a fool? I don't know...I'm just one of those few people, who pursuit his or her own vision, who can either be a prophet or a fool, who prefers that essential uncertainty to the comfort of traveling with a crowd of like-minded seekers...

I read random books, I do random things, I create random thoughts, I make random theories...everything is so random, but all these random things are to some extent connected together--Nothing in this world is completely separated, everything tends to work in the same way--Why? How? ... That's the underlying orders of the universe scientists have been trying to figure out. 

In high school years, I have been fixed my eyes on the universe--mathematics, physics, fundamental theories--from Newton's traditional mechanics, to Einstein's general relativity, then to quantum physics.  Switched my attention to more complex science, such as chaos theory and system science when I got into college. My life went to another way every since, as I got into the business world. Then I start to learn more "practical" things--law, psychology, economics, finance...and one day, by some random chance, I started to learn Chinese medicine, acupuncture, then another random chance, I got into fashion world.  However, all those random things seem to start to connect together to this point, and it switched my attention back to quantum physics, but this time I have a full new view of this science, and of this world...

It's time to put these random things together... but it will still be random notes ... I may be a prophet, or a fool ... who knows? who cares? just follow your heart, follow your mind, take a step back, breath deeply, relax, then open your eyes, expose to as many things as you can, and learn as much as you can ...